Yet another year, yet another chapter. The plane has lift off to it's next destination.
These two years; 2010 and 2011 had been roller-coaster rides for me. Though it consists more down than up. I screwed up, over and over again, and the bitter memories far out-weights the pleasant and sweet rare moments that I had in Form 6. Indeed it does. Out of more than 200 students in form 6 from my batch, I'm one of those who didn't mattered, and I share my condolences with everyone else who felt the same on this ridiculous journey.
Being in my class, the only way I can describe it is that it was horrible. It wasn't the teachers or the study-load, not even the pressure. But my classmates, well majority of them anyways. The times I'd spent with them, quite frankly I rather forget it all, they were simply not worth a dime. No hard feelings however, if ever one of my classmate is reading this, it's not that I don't value our temporary 'friendship' or anything, but simply because it felt too fake for me to embrace at the end of the road.
Numerous bridges were burned on this lonesome journey, so many lessons that I'd learned. I'd lost a lot, but at the same time perhaps I could argue that I also had gained something in return. At least out of this hell hole I have one, or two friends I'd made. Perhaps we will part ways too, but I'd learned. This road, sparked many things, a midst those are my actions; trying to fortify the bridges I'd abandoned foolishly, trying to take off a mask, learning the meanings of a few neglected words and learning how to appreciate. For this I'm grateful and glad that I took on this journey and managed to finish it. Sure, there's a chance that I might fail now, but at least I did my best.
If I did not went on this lonely journey and if those bridges were not burned maybe things would had turned out a lot differently, that I won't had became better friends with my closest friends. Someone once told me although little is good, I have just too little friends. Perhaps that's true, perhaps Mr.C.
Regardless of what had happened, a lot is happening now, a lot of good things I suppose.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Fight For Your Dreams
So I just watched Super 8 Ultraman Brothers, yes yes, children's show whatever you say. But I have no idea how you people can love Batman, Superman and so and so and not like a giant superhero from outer space. You may leave the blog now if you wish, but for the others, read on.
I love how Tsuburaya Productions always have great moral values within their shows, no matter how dark the series or movie could be. Fight for your dreams, do the right thing, go to other's aid when they are in need, fight for what is right, never give up till you're done and many more values are recurring themes in their shows and movies.
This is one reason why I really love Ultraman, it's not just because it is one of my most vivid memory of my childhood, but because it is actually really really good. For those without nostalgia for it, or do not enjoy these kind of show that requires suspension of beliefs, there's still the mini figurines and sculptures, amazing special effects and so much more to enjoy.
But those really aren't the point about this blog post. Watching the movie it kinda made me remember more clearly about my dreams and what I'm doing now, but hey, which Ultraman movie doesn't make me remember anyways? To strike to be a better person, to believe in the world, to believe in humanity, to see the brighter side even when faced with the dark side. To appreciate where's there. Here's a question to you readers, have you reflected recently on how everything are like? How you are now, have you forgotten your dreams? Do you still fight for the dream that you once believed in? I hope not.
:)
I love how Tsuburaya Productions always have great moral values within their shows, no matter how dark the series or movie could be. Fight for your dreams, do the right thing, go to other's aid when they are in need, fight for what is right, never give up till you're done and many more values are recurring themes in their shows and movies.
This is one reason why I really love Ultraman, it's not just because it is one of my most vivid memory of my childhood, but because it is actually really really good. For those without nostalgia for it, or do not enjoy these kind of show that requires suspension of beliefs, there's still the mini figurines and sculptures, amazing special effects and so much more to enjoy.
But those really aren't the point about this blog post. Watching the movie it kinda made me remember more clearly about my dreams and what I'm doing now, but hey, which Ultraman movie doesn't make me remember anyways? To strike to be a better person, to believe in the world, to believe in humanity, to see the brighter side even when faced with the dark side. To appreciate where's there. Here's a question to you readers, have you reflected recently on how everything are like? How you are now, have you forgotten your dreams? Do you still fight for the dream that you once believed in? I hope not.
:)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Too Fast
Old memories and scars, they are visiting me for a trip it seems. Nostalgia and regrets, time moves on too very fast.
Oh how foolish I used to be, and still is?
To wish to be alone, to wish for solitude. Silence kills me. Why was I ever so foolish to find such thing to be attractive?
To take things for granted, to do things that gave them disappointment and shattered their hearts. Damaged our relationships. Look what they had done to your poor worn out body, those nasty men in white collars and with a disc upon their head, but is it their fault? All I know is that you're not the one to be blamed for all that's happening. I'm deeply, deeply sorry, if only I had a time machine, I'll right all the wrong that I did.
To wish for separation, doing foolish things and holding the words that I truly wish to express deep within myself, is it in fear of rejection? Is it because I had an inferiority complex? Is that why I developed such a hardened heart and such a vile soul? There is but bits of innocence left in such a soul as mine, if heaven exists, I do not think St.Peter will ever call upon my name. If I had acted differently, if I had not wore the mask of a monster, would things had been different? Would I not feel the loneliness that I am feeling right now? Will my hands be embracing much more? Would I had learned to embrace what I had much sooner?
If I had had more patience, and learned to walk away from fights, and learn not to let hate have it ways. Would I been a better person? Would I had not hurt others without a thought of hesitation? Would some of them be the same person as they are today?
If only time did not move so fast, and if only I was not as stupid as I am. Am I not the one who at fault for the situations that I am facing and the watery liquid in my eyes? I am.
It feels cold, deep down inside. Yet, I doubt that I will talk about such things to anyone any time soon. Why is it so difficult for me to express my feelings, and to talk about events that has transpired when the time truly calls for it? Why would I rather let such chances slip by?
I used to be just a sad little emo, and I changed, no, I did not change, I just covered up all my insecurity with my ego; "Let it inflate!!" was what I said. Oh, foolishness. Now that bricks had been through at the glass wall that I'd built, my ego's slowly deflating and I'm starting to become less reluctant to talk when the moment comes. I'm envious and jealous of optimistic people, those who are always smiling even when ordeals call their name and never let hatred consume them and led them astray. To be able to embrace everything that they love with their arms.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes"
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
At Sea
Maybe I'm being a bit of a social suicide, but then again. I'd let my anger and hate take over. I pumped up my hostility to 11. Misunderstanding happens, I didn't mind it, but things start turning uglier and soon I just engulfed myself in hate, hate towards a specific bunch of people who I'd spent a year with. Hate me back all you want hypocrites, for I do not care anymore. I'm going to stop caring, hating and holding onto any grudges I might have with you bunch. I may had been wrong, but you people had too. It takes two hands to clap.
You can't judge a book by it's cover, a cover may look old, wrinkly and dark, but the content CAN be a story about a young man learning to live a happy life. The same applies to people. You only look at my cover and thus make your judgement, without even bothering to look at the index. To be frank you have no rights to judge me. Some of us may had known each other for years, but I honestly believe that only around 2 or 3 people while excluding family truly understands me.
Those of you who know half of who am I must know the point of this particular paragraph, otherwise I do not think you would understand everything that I'm referring to; For all that I'd done wrong and mistakes that I'd made, I do not think I'm going to ask for an apology, do I want to be forgiven and to be loved? Of course, but sometimes I still retain some of my older self, and it tells me that I don't deserve anything. I'm not going to justify my actions, for most of them are truly wrong. Some of you never showed me signs that you consider me as a friend, and more often than not I only sense hatred, it's only fair for who I was back then, so hate me all you want, but I'm not going to apologize, perhaps my ego's coming in, but...I don't find it worth it sometimes.
You can't judge a book by it's cover, a cover may look old, wrinkly and dark, but the content CAN be a story about a young man learning to live a happy life. The same applies to people. You only look at my cover and thus make your judgement, without even bothering to look at the index. To be frank you have no rights to judge me. Some of us may had known each other for years, but I honestly believe that only around 2 or 3 people while excluding family truly understands me.
Those of you who know half of who am I must know the point of this particular paragraph, otherwise I do not think you would understand everything that I'm referring to; For all that I'd done wrong and mistakes that I'd made, I do not think I'm going to ask for an apology, do I want to be forgiven and to be loved? Of course, but sometimes I still retain some of my older self, and it tells me that I don't deserve anything. I'm not going to justify my actions, for most of them are truly wrong. Some of you never showed me signs that you consider me as a friend, and more often than not I only sense hatred, it's only fair for who I was back then, so hate me all you want, but I'm not going to apologize, perhaps my ego's coming in, but...I don't find it worth it sometimes.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Carrie Underwood's Lessons Learned
"Lessons Learned"
There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.
[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.
There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.
[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
So and So
I have not been updating much, STPM is drawing nearer and nearer by the second, time is of it's essence right now, and it's the examination of my life that will either make me, or break me.
Anyways, apparently things got ugly between me and yet another person. I won't say too much, but the gist of it is that she's not very well liked by some others, so I thought maybe I could talk to her, then she went all "tell me their name or share the same fate as them!!" trying to justify her need to know with "I want to know their name so I can analyse why they hate me."
I refused, I thought it'll be the same as backstabbing, tattle tailing. Not to mention I don't want things to get ugly, I sincerely wanted things to not turn ugly between her and others. However, she then proceeded to calling me a traitor and a friend of "them." That I'm a total faker this and that. So it all ended with me and her not being friends anymore, and now things seems to be escalating between her and some others. Obviously, I'm going to close my eyes and not care, since she will be too stubborn to even consider to listen to me anyways. Let bitches bitch someone told me. I can't agree more, even if it is sorta(?) cold of me.
Someone else got mad at me for not including this person to the movies, but honestly? I never felt like me and this person were anything more than casual gaming buddies. Sure we spend some time together, but really? We never really talked you know? Half the time I don't even know your personality, and neither do you really know me. I'm pretty sure everyone will agree that time spent together is the right way to measure a friendship, but it is only natural that friendships are forged through a period of time no matter how small. The problem is, I believe that we didn't really forged much of a friendship together. And perhaps I might be sensitive here, but what you said that time, directly hit me hard. I myself know that I'll never ever be fit to be a role model to anyone, but to hear someone else agree to it after I said it myself? Somehow that really stung. Maybe it's jerkish of me to not be able to remember you sometimes, which is typical(being a jerk I mean), but I never really felt like you cared about me either. So I'm calling it even.
And that's the so and so. Sometimes it makes me wonder if anyone ever reads my blogs, and does anyone really know my personality and not the mask I that I used to tried my best to keep on my face.
Anyways, apparently things got ugly between me and yet another person. I won't say too much, but the gist of it is that she's not very well liked by some others, so I thought maybe I could talk to her, then she went all "tell me their name or share the same fate as them!!" trying to justify her need to know with "I want to know their name so I can analyse why they hate me."
I refused, I thought it'll be the same as backstabbing, tattle tailing. Not to mention I don't want things to get ugly, I sincerely wanted things to not turn ugly between her and others. However, she then proceeded to calling me a traitor and a friend of "them." That I'm a total faker this and that. So it all ended with me and her not being friends anymore, and now things seems to be escalating between her and some others. Obviously, I'm going to close my eyes and not care, since she will be too stubborn to even consider to listen to me anyways. Let bitches bitch someone told me. I can't agree more, even if it is sorta(?) cold of me.
Someone else got mad at me for not including this person to the movies, but honestly? I never felt like me and this person were anything more than casual gaming buddies. Sure we spend some time together, but really? We never really talked you know? Half the time I don't even know your personality, and neither do you really know me. I'm pretty sure everyone will agree that time spent together is the right way to measure a friendship, but it is only natural that friendships are forged through a period of time no matter how small. The problem is, I believe that we didn't really forged much of a friendship together. And perhaps I might be sensitive here, but what you said that time, directly hit me hard. I myself know that I'll never ever be fit to be a role model to anyone, but to hear someone else agree to it after I said it myself? Somehow that really stung. Maybe it's jerkish of me to not be able to remember you sometimes, which is typical(being a jerk I mean), but I never really felt like you cared about me either. So I'm calling it even.
And that's the so and so. Sometimes it makes me wonder if anyone ever reads my blogs, and does anyone really know my personality and not the mask I that I used to tried my best to keep on my face.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
:)
For bad things that has passed, lighten up, don't let it get you down. Hell, joke about it even if you have a sense of humor. It'll feel better when you realized that you have finally put it all down and is able to move on from it, better yet if you know you have also grown as a person. After all, we all learn both from success and from things we had done wrong. Trick is to drop our egos and admit that we are wrong. This might be strange coming from someone like me perhaps. But it doesn't make this any less credible as a fact.
Male or female it's fine to show your sensitive side, it's what makes us humans. Don't try to lock away them, do yourself a favor, unlock the chains and let it flow free, especially those of us who are inspiring to be artists or singers, lest you want to lose your muse. Which I feel like I'd lost, I don't feel the 'creativity' in me anymore and it's hard for me to do anything creative at all. So lessons be learned.
Male or female it's fine to show your sensitive side, it's what makes us humans. Don't try to lock away them, do yourself a favor, unlock the chains and let it flow free, especially those of us who are inspiring to be artists or singers, lest you want to lose your muse. Which I feel like I'd lost, I don't feel the 'creativity' in me anymore and it's hard for me to do anything creative at all. So lessons be learned.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
My School
I'd spent so many years here in my school, and let me say before hand that I too used to hate my own school. But don't you find it pointless that you hate it? Why do you not love it? Why do you not support the school that you will be studying in? I'll admit too, it took me a long time to start liking my school, at one point some of us cheered at the thought of the school getting burned down and et cetera.
Also, please take note that I'm saying all this in general and I do not mean to offend anyone.
But you know what? As much as we hated it, we came to miss it a year past our graduations. The corridors that we walked, the classrooms that we spent almost half of our lives in. We saw bad teachers, we saw good teachers, we saw others walk away from our lives, we saw that...
...some stayed.
Now some of us may not have stayed in this school as long as the others may have. But all I see is a stable and constant hate for the school and constant support of your previous school. It's understandable to love your old school much more than a school that you will spend 1 and a half year in, but I do not understand why must one hate it so much. It's different, sure. Probably very different from your previous schools, and I myself would probably have problems adapting to a new school. But that doesn't give us a reason to hate it. Perhaps it's the co-ed system? First time being in a non-single sex class? Do you consider the males or the females in the school to be a hindrance in daily life?
Well, excuse my "flowery" language here but; go suck a dick bitch and sons of bitches.
Don't give me the sexism, you're just biting one apple, realizing that it has half a worm left in it and proceed to burning down every single apple tree that ever existed.
Some of the people, or maybe even more than "some" might make it a hell for you to study in. Perhaps the teachers even. Maybe you don't fit in, maybe you hate everyone, maybe everyone hates you, but that's not the case. We can love our country without blindly worshiping our country's leaders. The school itself is not to be blamed for the bad seeds that you have encountered. I honestly doubt the fact that everyone in the school in your batch will be jerks. It's too sad to see someone completely alone, always bullied and ostracized and if you really don't fit in at all, then I do apologize. I understand fully how much that feels like, how much that hurts. Thus why I make it a point that I don't ostracize someone unless he or she really really deserves it. I believe that it is fully our own faults that we are unable to mix with each other. You, me, even the principle and the teachers are to blame. Each of us are to be blamed. If only each of us had held on stronger, longer, perhaps this year would had been whole different experience for us? Who's to know now?
But long story short, my main point is that, we are all where we are now, and there's no point in hating it. We chose to be here, and we chose to stay here after half a year has passed. We chose to take such a path and let us just cherish what is in front of us, love what is there to love instead of looking at the list of reasons to hate it. Carrying so much hate won't do your soul any good. I'd been there, and I doubt I'm had completely put everything down, but it doesn't hurt to try your best.
Also, please take note that I'm saying all this in general and I do not mean to offend anyone.
But you know what? As much as we hated it, we came to miss it a year past our graduations. The corridors that we walked, the classrooms that we spent almost half of our lives in. We saw bad teachers, we saw good teachers, we saw others walk away from our lives, we saw that...
...some stayed.
Now some of us may not have stayed in this school as long as the others may have. But all I see is a stable and constant hate for the school and constant support of your previous school. It's understandable to love your old school much more than a school that you will spend 1 and a half year in, but I do not understand why must one hate it so much. It's different, sure. Probably very different from your previous schools, and I myself would probably have problems adapting to a new school. But that doesn't give us a reason to hate it. Perhaps it's the co-ed system? First time being in a non-single sex class? Do you consider the males or the females in the school to be a hindrance in daily life?
Well, excuse my "flowery" language here but; go suck a dick bitch and sons of bitches.
Don't give me the sexism, you're just biting one apple, realizing that it has half a worm left in it and proceed to burning down every single apple tree that ever existed.
Some of the people, or maybe even more than "some" might make it a hell for you to study in. Perhaps the teachers even. Maybe you don't fit in, maybe you hate everyone, maybe everyone hates you, but that's not the case. We can love our country without blindly worshiping our country's leaders. The school itself is not to be blamed for the bad seeds that you have encountered. I honestly doubt the fact that everyone in the school in your batch will be jerks. It's too sad to see someone completely alone, always bullied and ostracized and if you really don't fit in at all, then I do apologize. I understand fully how much that feels like, how much that hurts. Thus why I make it a point that I don't ostracize someone unless he or she really really deserves it. I believe that it is fully our own faults that we are unable to mix with each other. You, me, even the principle and the teachers are to blame. Each of us are to be blamed. If only each of us had held on stronger, longer, perhaps this year would had been whole different experience for us? Who's to know now?
But long story short, my main point is that, we are all where we are now, and there's no point in hating it. We chose to be here, and we chose to stay here after half a year has passed. We chose to take such a path and let us just cherish what is in front of us, love what is there to love instead of looking at the list of reasons to hate it. Carrying so much hate won't do your soul any good. I'd been there, and I doubt I'm had completely put everything down, but it doesn't hurt to try your best.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Face Beneath The Mask
How ironic it is for an artist to be reluctant to show his emotion and feelings?
How does such an artist put his feelings and heart into his work in this case? How can he touch the hearts of others? He does not know since when did the little artist inside him died. But, this man want to open his eyes again, he want to get back into things. He want to be drawing, photo taking, painting, doing everything because he loves it, because it's fun, because it's what he does best and because it's part of his life. Not an obsession to win and improve so he can be above others, not an obsession so deep that it consumed this man. No, no, not anymore. Not anymore.
This man has been taking steps, making decisions, bad or good, for better or worse. He's trying to change, he fell again, more than once during the walk on his path to change which is still very far from over. But it's okay, as long as this man does not give up, does not take a U-turn. They say don't look back, but he had read something meaningful not too long ago;
"Look back. Look back to see how much you have improved and how far you have gotten and not look back because you can't forget."
He wholeheartedly agreed.
This man should take off the mask, pieces by pieces no matter how complicating the process is. It must be done, and much better if it could be done at a faster pace, yet not rushed.
Wounds can heal, scars can heal but they leave a mark behind. But it's alright. A scar helps you remember what had happened, and make sure that you never do it again.
How does such an artist put his feelings and heart into his work in this case? How can he touch the hearts of others? He does not know since when did the little artist inside him died. But, this man want to open his eyes again, he want to get back into things. He want to be drawing, photo taking, painting, doing everything because he loves it, because it's fun, because it's what he does best and because it's part of his life. Not an obsession to win and improve so he can be above others, not an obsession so deep that it consumed this man. No, no, not anymore. Not anymore.
This man has been taking steps, making decisions, bad or good, for better or worse. He's trying to change, he fell again, more than once during the walk on his path to change which is still very far from over. But it's okay, as long as this man does not give up, does not take a U-turn. They say don't look back, but he had read something meaningful not too long ago;
"Look back. Look back to see how much you have improved and how far you have gotten and not look back because you can't forget."
He wholeheartedly agreed.
This man should take off the mask, pieces by pieces no matter how complicating the process is. It must be done, and much better if it could be done at a faster pace, yet not rushed.
Wounds can heal, scars can heal but they leave a mark behind. But it's alright. A scar helps you remember what had happened, and make sure that you never do it again.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Hypocrites We Are
Typical Malaysians, angry feminists, douches(which I used to be and still sorta am one), no-brainers, dirty politicians.
People needs to be less hypocritical. Stop saying things if you yourselves will not take any sort of action to support it. Unless in the case that just voicing out will help the situation, even by a tiny bit, then by all means please go for it!!
We typical Malaysians, we're all talks and all bullshit inside, no wonder I sneeze everyday, I'm allergic to bullshit, and I guess it's due to myself sometimes too. All the attitude of talking big and then when action is about to start rolling, we would say "what's the point of it? No use one laaahhh" with the typical Malaysian accent. God that pisses me off. At the very least if you can't do anything, then support it by voicing out. If you never do anything, you will never go far, and the country even with lots of luck will never develop. We have ourselves to blame.
People needs to be less hypocritical. Stop saying things if you yourselves will not take any sort of action to support it. Unless in the case that just voicing out will help the situation, even by a tiny bit, then by all means please go for it!!
We typical Malaysians, we're all talks and all bullshit inside, no wonder I sneeze everyday, I'm allergic to bullshit, and I guess it's due to myself sometimes too. All the attitude of talking big and then when action is about to start rolling, we would say "what's the point of it? No use one laaahhh" with the typical Malaysian accent. God that pisses me off. At the very least if you can't do anything, then support it by voicing out. If you never do anything, you will never go far, and the country even with lots of luck will never develop. We have ourselves to blame.
Monday, June 13, 2011
A Year Since
We all came into form 6, a year ago from this date, expecting something. Be it that they were expecting having amazing fun, being in a co-ed school environment, being the top scorer, cutting the amount of money that needs to be spent on universities and some believed that it will also be a new beginning for them towards a new chapter of their life. Perhaps some of us were disappointed, many or little I do not know.
As for me, I'd made both friends and enemies. For better or worse. Today school has reopened, and everyone went through the first day of school as usual. Nothing more, cept for the results of MUET that was released today at 12 midnight. Quite a lot of us were not pleased with our results, some were devastated, some, cheered and jumped around in joy and excitement. And so the day passed by just like that.
As for me, I'd made both friends and enemies. For better or worse. Today school has reopened, and everyone went through the first day of school as usual. Nothing more, cept for the results of MUET that was released today at 12 midnight. Quite a lot of us were not pleased with our results, some were devastated, some, cheered and jumped around in joy and excitement. And so the day passed by just like that.
Ahoy Me Hearties!
So the holidays breezed through just like that. Among the highlights of the holidays were me uploading 14 pages of my comic in less than 2 week time, one hell of a personal record!! AND MISSING Pirates of the Caribbean 4 in the cinema, but oh well, I never watched 1,2 and 3 in the cinema anyways. So no biggie. I watched Avatar just now, the movie wasn't bad but I don't have time now to comment on it or write up a review. Perhaps another time
Aye, gonna be hard to start off everyday with a smile, with so many krakens around sinking ships wherever they may go. Land lubbers beware lest you want to walk the plank or have your ship sunk. Hell's reopening tomorrow after all. And this Hell I'm talking about ain't no Hell's Kitchen, this is another Hell, a much more agonizing hell. At least that's how I see it. Devils about every where, two faced, masked beasts. They will trick you and kill you if you are not careful. Gotta brace yourself 24/7. Do not be tempted, do not be engulfed in rage and act in anger. Beware the signs, play hard, study smart and hard. That's one way to get out of this hell hole. Survivor is not guaranteed once you enter the gates.
Kyle signing off.
*RELOG*
But it is always worth it to go to this hell hole. The place I spent much of my life here, almost half my life was spend here, if not more. Passed my birthday at this hell once, and even though we all call it Hell, deep down, we all still love it. Call it a love hate relationship. Nevertheless, between all those devils, beasts and monsters. There are angels about in this hell, these angels comes in the shape of friends, close friends, those that care about. Though some have already left this hell hole, they will be remembered, the corridors we walked through together all the time and all the shit and crap we babble about walking through them. Ah great bittersweet memories. Nothing can beat this hell, this place is perhaps, almost like a heaven in the shape of hell.
Aye, gonna be hard to start off everyday with a smile, with so many krakens around sinking ships wherever they may go. Land lubbers beware lest you want to walk the plank or have your ship sunk. Hell's reopening tomorrow after all. And this Hell I'm talking about ain't no Hell's Kitchen, this is another Hell, a much more agonizing hell. At least that's how I see it. Devils about every where, two faced, masked beasts. They will trick you and kill you if you are not careful. Gotta brace yourself 24/7. Do not be tempted, do not be engulfed in rage and act in anger. Beware the signs, play hard, study smart and hard. That's one way to get out of this hell hole. Survivor is not guaranteed once you enter the gates.
Kyle signing off.
*RELOG*
But it is always worth it to go to this hell hole. The place I spent much of my life here, almost half my life was spend here, if not more. Passed my birthday at this hell once, and even though we all call it Hell, deep down, we all still love it. Call it a love hate relationship. Nevertheless, between all those devils, beasts and monsters. There are angels about in this hell, these angels comes in the shape of friends, close friends, those that care about. Though some have already left this hell hole, they will be remembered, the corridors we walked through together all the time and all the shit and crap we babble about walking through them. Ah great bittersweet memories. Nothing can beat this hell, this place is perhaps, almost like a heaven in the shape of hell.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Carpe Diem
Every day's a good day if you want it to be.
Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero
Seize the day, counting as little as possible on the future.
I stumbled upon this while watching Phineas and Ferb. We should always make the best of the day, start off every day with a smile and memento mori.
:)
Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero
Seize the day, counting as little as possible on the future.
I stumbled upon this while watching Phineas and Ferb. We should always make the best of the day, start off every day with a smile and memento mori.
:)
Thursday, June 9, 2011
NIE Project Draft
Being yourself is one of the greatest joys in the world. Don’t shun away!
“I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort where we overlap.” - Ani Difranco quotes
More often then not, we shun away from the public, to hide our own flaws or even our own passionate love for a hobby. This happens both in the public adult world and in school. We may have different personalities, but at the end of the day the blood that we shed are always red in color. We should always embrace our differences and never shun away, because it is what makes you, you!
The first difference I would like to talk about would be for the LGBT group, LGBT means Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals. Who are we to tell others who to love and who to be, regardless of their gender. Who are we to tell people who are they supposed to be? I do not believe it is wrong for two males to get together or a person changing his or her sex if he or she feels that it is the best way to go on living. Not many would dare to let others know that they are homosexuals, bisexuals or transsexuals; it seems a bit easier in adult life especially if you become successful in a field; for example Dana International a transsexual who is a successful music artist. In school, such claims to be any of the four groups would grant you tickets to be bullied and ostracized. But we should all take into consideration that the LGBT does not harm anyone at all, they build their love life around the same type of people and there have never been any cases where any of the LGBT encouraged straight people to become like them. It may not be a social norm, but that does not render the LGBT wrong.
Next I would like to talk about stereotyping and genders. The social stereotype is that men have to be in love with sports, and women have to play with Barbie dolls. A person is not born with a gender that forces him or her to act in a certain way. A man should feel proud of himself even if he does not obsess over shiny Ferrari cars and a woman should be proud of herself even if she dresses like a man. I have seen feminine guys in school be made fun of, even bullied and ostracized. Perhaps it is out of our social norm that they act that way, but if you would try being in their shoes, their feminine personality was part of their social norm.
Discrimination of any kind is not good. In school especially, many form of discrimination takes place. Skin colors should not matter, we are all humans and we should all treat each other with respect and equality. It doesn’t matter that everyone believes in a different god, and some of us don’t even believe in the existence of god. We are all entitled to our opinions, and if someone choose to believe in a different god then so be it. Our religions should not hold us back in being equals. To love, respect and tolerate each other is to be united. There is a proverb from an unknown source that says; “The broad-minded see the truth in different religions; the narrow-minded see only the differences”
You should just be yourselves, in school or out in the adult world because it is part of who you are. To hide that part of you undermines the meaning of life. What is life without true happiness in what you do? Do not worry that you are different in terms of ideology, skin colors, religion or sexual orientations, we are all the same deep inside and part of what makes us humans is that we are different. It doesn’t matter if you get treated differently by others or even ostracized because at the end of the day you will find real happiness, acceptance, support and friends. Do not lead a life of lies!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Deep Blue Sky
When you're feeling sad, just look up to the deep blue sky, look at how beautiful and calm it is, hopefully it will put a smile upon your face as it does for me nowadays. There's sometimes that you'll inevitably feel lonely, like nobody besides your family will ever give a crap about you. All those hundreds or thousand of friends on Facebook or even your phone contact list just cease to matter. And if you have not been through such feelings before, well lucky you. The others, like me, not so lucky. But hey, life's short, and you only live once, why get moody and depressed? It may seem like there's NOBODY when you need em, but they are really there for ya, your closest friends and family members. It's good to make sure that you're not alone because you're wearing a mask and trying to push everyone away. Because that just might happen to you. Unconsciously you could had done it. Remember when they say if you close a door, the way out is blocked, you won't be hurt by others anymore, but so will the way in be blocked by the closed door.
Listen to some inspirational music, they'll do your soul good. Be a bit more in touch with your sensitive side, you don't want your heart to harden into a piece of rock, take it from me. Whenever you feel like giving up, just sing a song, any song. Bon Jovi's Living On A Prayer, Kansas' Carry On My Wayward Son, or perhaps Joey McIntyre's Stay The Same would do the trick for you? Regardless of the song choice, c'mon go give it a try. Life's not all bad, if it gives you lemons, well then take the chance to make lemonades. If it gives you fishes, cook em for dinner. Live your life, don't waste it! You only live ONCE!!
I know, sometimes it's hard to be optimistic and cheerful, your hope just get shattered all the time, and sometimes it gets to the point where you just break, can't take anymore and then you take on a change, you become more hostile to some, you become rude and jerkish towards others and perhaps even your closest friends. That's when they should come and help, and even if their presence can't be felt, just keep them in your thoughts. Even when you feel like you're going to fall, continue climbing up that high mountain, you'll reach the top one day. Stealing an analogy from a friend's blog post I just read; you might trip on a rock, perhaps you had not been attentive to your footing as you climb, but the journey doesn't end when you fall. There's still the robe, grab onto it and as long as you don't give up, you can still go forward, no matter how slow you go, as long as you keep on moving forward. Even if you hit the bottom, you could still start over again. Perhaps it'll be for the better too that you lose yourself. Like the song Find Yourself by Brad Presley goes. Perhaps moments like those are the moments that you truly find yourself. So fear not even if you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, just carry on the sweet road of life, no matter the weather.
Here's to those left behind, those that felt hated by the world and outcasted, the forgotten and sidelined, the lonely and those with shattered hopes and dreams. Never give up even at your last breath.
Finding Nemo's Dorry sang; Just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming.
Listen to some inspirational music, they'll do your soul good. Be a bit more in touch with your sensitive side, you don't want your heart to harden into a piece of rock, take it from me. Whenever you feel like giving up, just sing a song, any song. Bon Jovi's Living On A Prayer, Kansas' Carry On My Wayward Son, or perhaps Joey McIntyre's Stay The Same would do the trick for you? Regardless of the song choice, c'mon go give it a try. Life's not all bad, if it gives you lemons, well then take the chance to make lemonades. If it gives you fishes, cook em for dinner. Live your life, don't waste it! You only live ONCE!!
I know, sometimes it's hard to be optimistic and cheerful, your hope just get shattered all the time, and sometimes it gets to the point where you just break, can't take anymore and then you take on a change, you become more hostile to some, you become rude and jerkish towards others and perhaps even your closest friends. That's when they should come and help, and even if their presence can't be felt, just keep them in your thoughts. Even when you feel like you're going to fall, continue climbing up that high mountain, you'll reach the top one day. Stealing an analogy from a friend's blog post I just read; you might trip on a rock, perhaps you had not been attentive to your footing as you climb, but the journey doesn't end when you fall. There's still the robe, grab onto it and as long as you don't give up, you can still go forward, no matter how slow you go, as long as you keep on moving forward. Even if you hit the bottom, you could still start over again. Perhaps it'll be for the better too that you lose yourself. Like the song Find Yourself by Brad Presley goes. Perhaps moments like those are the moments that you truly find yourself. So fear not even if you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, just carry on the sweet road of life, no matter the weather.
Here's to those left behind, those that felt hated by the world and outcasted, the forgotten and sidelined, the lonely and those with shattered hopes and dreams. Never give up even at your last breath.
Finding Nemo's Dorry sang; Just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Jigoku.
It's hard to hate. You end up being consumed by it, dwell into it, you become vengeful, and it brings you down.
There's a show I once watched about a Hell Girl that has a hotline to hell. On the internet there is a website that can only be accessed at th stroke of midnight and provided you have enough hatred within your heart. If you type in the name of the person you hate on the website, the Hell Girl will meet you and deliver you a straw figurine with a red string tied on it's neck. When the person untie that red string, the Hell Girl will proceed to sending the person to hell. Of course, nothing is ever free in this world. By cursing that person and delivering him or her to hell, two graves shall be dug. Once the contract is fulfilled you will be embedded a tattoo near your chest, and you too shall go to hell when you die.
I'd been increasingly hostile towards some people. And perhaps what one of my friend said was true, perhaps I was thinking a bit too much and a bit too sensitive about it. Perhaps I came with the intention and ideals that this will be a new beginning and new friendships. I'm not perfect, how much I wish so that I could be perfect. Perhaps I should had been a bit more supportive of one of my friend today. Couldn't hurt and for that I'm sorry. But oh well, stupid me. I'm a fool. I definitely should be more supportive of people. Or maybe I'm just not completely used to turning over a new leaf.
In the end, what is the point of all the hatred? What's left after revenge? What can one possibly gain from "sweet sweet revenge" beside that 5 second of happiness that depresses at an astonishing speed and soon becomes a feeling of emptiness? What is left then? And what if in the course of vengeance you end up destroying everything in your path, including your relationship with your loved ones? How sad it is that we know what lies ahead with this path yet we still chose to take it. Could it be human nature to succumb to such feelings?
These two weeks of holiday can serve well for me to rejuvenate, relax and most importantly to study. Yesterday has passed, today's ending, and tomorrow's a brand new day. Time to move forward one more step. Life's only bad if you let it be. Who am I to say all of that anyways? It's not like I'm not one who's consumed by that hatred. Let's just finish this page and start a new chapter now. I should make amends for things. Many things.
Trying my best, but I trip and fall still once in a while. It's inevitable, who doesn't trip and fall? There sure seems to be many others who are much more fortunate, or perhaps they just made all the right choices in life. I should not let hatred get to my head and blind my eyes. Even if it's ever so tempting. Bloodshed only begets more bloodshed, there will never be a happy ending.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
House.
I can't help but to do some self-reflecting upon watching House, most of the time anyways.
Sometimes it just makes me feel all terrible deep inside. Perhaps I associate myself with House, if I went to the science stream, if I wanted to be a doctor instead of doing anything art, been the same person as I was. I wonder would I be almost the same as House? If, I was a genius of course, which I'm not, wish I was.
Cynical, apathetic, manipulative, moody. Yeah, sure seem a bit like how I was, and perhaps still am. House seems just a bit too familiar. Perhaps it's a good thing, that I am not happy about such a thing. I'll probably be thinking "Ah, how similar am I to him? I sure am boss." or something like that 3 years back. I'd never been a good son, never been a good friend and never been a good brother.
Perhaps this could be the reasons why I tend to be sidelined, outcasted and or not fit in at all. I basically grew up on the internet, rather than playing soccer with friends or catching a new popular movie. I'd grown apathetic and sadistic. Perhaps I'd been too far away from humans in real life. I'm all harden, all broken. It makes me wonder, how things could had went if I didn't grew up on the internet. If I didn't visited the forums I did, if I didn't take part in discussions on those forums like I did before, if I never found online gaming interesting. But such things are what makes me who I am today, today, I'm a guy sitting in his room after midnight listening to sad songs. For better or for worse I guess.
I hate myself, sometimes, lots of time 3 years ago, though even then my inflated ego existed, near narcissism, how scary. I'm prideful, I'm egotistic, I never wanted to show my feelings, I repress myself and I thought the meaning of strong was to be calm at all times and have no fret. I'm an idiot, wish I wasn't, and the japanese says that idiots don't catch colds, so why am I catching colds?
Last year, things happened, and I'd sworn to change, bit by bit, steps by step, baby steps. I do think I'd changed, a bit. But I doubt that it's any good so far, I'm still near to where I used to be. Maybe I should just jump back into this dark pit that I wanted to come out of, am I giving up? Do I want to give up? Am I going back on my words and a person who I'd promised to?
Sometimes it just makes me feel all terrible deep inside. Perhaps I associate myself with House, if I went to the science stream, if I wanted to be a doctor instead of doing anything art, been the same person as I was. I wonder would I be almost the same as House? If, I was a genius of course, which I'm not, wish I was.
Cynical, apathetic, manipulative, moody. Yeah, sure seem a bit like how I was, and perhaps still am. House seems just a bit too familiar. Perhaps it's a good thing, that I am not happy about such a thing. I'll probably be thinking "Ah, how similar am I to him? I sure am boss." or something like that 3 years back. I'd never been a good son, never been a good friend and never been a good brother.
Perhaps this could be the reasons why I tend to be sidelined, outcasted and or not fit in at all. I basically grew up on the internet, rather than playing soccer with friends or catching a new popular movie. I'd grown apathetic and sadistic. Perhaps I'd been too far away from humans in real life. I'm all harden, all broken. It makes me wonder, how things could had went if I didn't grew up on the internet. If I didn't visited the forums I did, if I didn't take part in discussions on those forums like I did before, if I never found online gaming interesting. But such things are what makes me who I am today, today, I'm a guy sitting in his room after midnight listening to sad songs. For better or for worse I guess.
I hate myself, sometimes, lots of time 3 years ago, though even then my inflated ego existed, near narcissism, how scary. I'm prideful, I'm egotistic, I never wanted to show my feelings, I repress myself and I thought the meaning of strong was to be calm at all times and have no fret. I'm an idiot, wish I wasn't, and the japanese says that idiots don't catch colds, so why am I catching colds?
Last year, things happened, and I'd sworn to change, bit by bit, steps by step, baby steps. I do think I'd changed, a bit. But I doubt that it's any good so far, I'm still near to where I used to be. Maybe I should just jump back into this dark pit that I wanted to come out of, am I giving up? Do I want to give up? Am I going back on my words and a person who I'd promised to?
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Skipping School
Skipping school for today. Studying at home today. See how effective that is today. Let's see why someone in class likes to stay at home so much to study instead of going to school to study today.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Begets More Bloodshed
Bloodshed and hatred only begets more bloodshed and hatred, walls have ears and enemies are everywhere. I do not understand how one can have sympathy for another who has killed thousands, caused grieve to thousands, and destroyed the life of thousands. Action speaks much louder than words, but there's an exception to every rule. An act can easily be pulled off if nobody knows you well enough to judge. How many masks does an average joe wear? Can we survive if we were to throw away our collection of masks?
There comes a time where we cannot remove the mask we're wearing without removing a bit of our skin. Caught that on Criminal Mind season 6, forgot who's the one who they quoted it from. It is much hard to keep a gender warm smile in the dark. It's hard to have a touch that never hurts.
It's hard, it's hard to have a touch that never harm others, to be the first to shake an helping hand knowing fully well that your heart was once filled with hatred, still is, a hardened heart is not healthy. To be apathetic is so much easier than to be sympathetic or sensitive to other's feelings. Harder still to have a heart that never hardens, especially when you're at your limits, especially when you're surrounded by hatred, prejudice and judgmental minds. Hypocrites, we all are hypocrites.
Never forget my promises to myself. Never forget what I'd said to my close friends. Never depend on others.
Good night to who ever may be reading this blog
There comes a time where we cannot remove the mask we're wearing without removing a bit of our skin. Caught that on Criminal Mind season 6, forgot who's the one who they quoted it from. It is much hard to keep a gender warm smile in the dark. It's hard to have a touch that never hurts.
It's hard, it's hard to have a touch that never harm others, to be the first to shake an helping hand knowing fully well that your heart was once filled with hatred, still is, a hardened heart is not healthy. To be apathetic is so much easier than to be sympathetic or sensitive to other's feelings. Harder still to have a heart that never hardens, especially when you're at your limits, especially when you're surrounded by hatred, prejudice and judgmental minds. Hypocrites, we all are hypocrites.
Never forget my promises to myself. Never forget what I'd said to my close friends. Never depend on others.
Good night to who ever may be reading this blog
Sunday, May 1, 2011
We Had Forgotten.
Do you still remember the times when all it took to stop you from crying was candies and lollipops? And the reasons that made you cry were either lost toys, parents not letting you buy one, or you got a boo boo on your hand? Won't it be nice? To have a trip back to that time again, just for a day.
Do you still remember the time when we dreamed of meeting aliens, building rocket ships, being a lawyer, wearing a cape and fighting evil every where in the world? When a cardboard box can become a F1 car, when a calculator was a secret agent's super high tech communicator, and when you thought that you can build a bridge to the moon?
Have we all forgotten everything? Our dreams and our passions?
Could we ever again believe that there's a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?
Can fantasy fairy tales with a good ending ever be the truth?
Are money, fame and fortune that's all on our minds?
Do you still remember the time when we dreamed of meeting aliens, building rocket ships, being a lawyer, wearing a cape and fighting evil every where in the world? When a cardboard box can become a F1 car, when a calculator was a secret agent's super high tech communicator, and when you thought that you can build a bridge to the moon?
Have we all forgotten everything? Our dreams and our passions?
Could we ever again believe that there's a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?
Can fantasy fairy tales with a good ending ever be the truth?
Are money, fame and fortune that's all on our minds?
Friday, April 29, 2011
Perhaps
Why despair when you're doing fine right now? Perhaps at a slower pace than before, perhaps more stressful and harder than before. Things are not the same anymore, perhaps you'd made a lot of mistakes yourself. Lost things, and gained something new along the long journey. A fictional character once said;
"You look like a man that has lost something.
But that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Because when you lose something, you gain something else in return."
Nothing's ever free in this world, and everyone learn and improve through their mistakes, unless they did not fathom their mistakes. But perhaps that's why friends exists, they are our moral compass after all. You seem to possess a much better story to tell than the story I wrote. So why the long face sometimes? Perhaps you have your problems too, not surprising, everyone does have their own problems, their own lessons to learn, their own views in life. Perhaps that the story I have is much darker and depressing than your's is just an illusion and you're just censoring out all the details of your story, the deeper, darker parts. Perhaps I'm missing the mark most of the time. But I'm trying to not miss the bullseye so many times so frequently.
Perhaps it's time we all be more joyful, give more love, give less hate, lest we want another war world.
Perhaps life's like a game. In a game you level up so you can face off stronger enemies, you may die, but the experience never drops, and you will slowly learn how to beat the final boss. Same applies in real life, you gain experience points every day, even if you're studying in college, universities, school, working or even just slacking at home. It may be slow and little, but you learn, and you add a new skill to your arsenal, you'll progress through the game, measured by a percentage system. Boss battles are like daily challenges in life you take on against. Died in the game? Reload, play again, don't give up. Made a mistake in real life? Pick yourself up, stand up strong and tall, and start walking once again, making sure you don't make the same mistake again, of course.
Perhaps life is as simple as that, and we are the ones who are making it complicating. Perhaps life's like a story, a novel written in ink, you can cross out lines and paragraphs, but it'll never be erased. All you can do is to do your best to move on and improve. But mistakes are still bound to happen anyways.
"You look like a man that has lost something.
But that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Because when you lose something, you gain something else in return."
Nothing's ever free in this world, and everyone learn and improve through their mistakes, unless they did not fathom their mistakes. But perhaps that's why friends exists, they are our moral compass after all. You seem to possess a much better story to tell than the story I wrote. So why the long face sometimes? Perhaps you have your problems too, not surprising, everyone does have their own problems, their own lessons to learn, their own views in life. Perhaps that the story I have is much darker and depressing than your's is just an illusion and you're just censoring out all the details of your story, the deeper, darker parts. Perhaps I'm missing the mark most of the time. But I'm trying to not miss the bullseye so many times so frequently.
Perhaps it's time we all be more joyful, give more love, give less hate, lest we want another war world.
Perhaps life's like a game. In a game you level up so you can face off stronger enemies, you may die, but the experience never drops, and you will slowly learn how to beat the final boss. Same applies in real life, you gain experience points every day, even if you're studying in college, universities, school, working or even just slacking at home. It may be slow and little, but you learn, and you add a new skill to your arsenal, you'll progress through the game, measured by a percentage system. Boss battles are like daily challenges in life you take on against. Died in the game? Reload, play again, don't give up. Made a mistake in real life? Pick yourself up, stand up strong and tall, and start walking once again, making sure you don't make the same mistake again, of course.
Perhaps life is as simple as that, and we are the ones who are making it complicating. Perhaps life's like a story, a novel written in ink, you can cross out lines and paragraphs, but it'll never be erased. All you can do is to do your best to move on and improve. But mistakes are still bound to happen anyways.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Keith Urban's "Tonight I Wanna Cry"
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The MMB Concert: Beyond The Music
Okay, I have no pictures to share for this event. But I went to the concert without the intention to take photos anyways. Just to sit there and listen to the music. I'll start off this blog entry by saying that I DO NOT believe the standard of the band has dropped too much, just that Michaelians are showing less support for the band, and when I say Michaelians, I am not restricting it to only students alone.
I quite enjoyed the concert, liked the songs, didn't find anything unpleasing. The concert had a number of 13 songs, including the encore songs. Just to name a few songs, there were;
We Are The World
I Feel Good
the song from Slumdog Millionaire
I think what the band really needs is some support from us Michaelians, even if the standard is dropping, even if they do not perform as well as before, even if the new batch isn't better than the previous batch and whatever reason you can think of. Why? Because they are the Michaelian Military Band, no matter what, they should had gotten our support if anything. Not blames and hate. That will just further discourage anyone and everyone.
I quite enjoyed the concert, liked the songs, didn't find anything unpleasing. The concert had a number of 13 songs, including the encore songs. Just to name a few songs, there were;
We Are The World
I Feel Good
the song from Slumdog Millionaire
I think what the band really needs is some support from us Michaelians, even if the standard is dropping, even if they do not perform as well as before, even if the new batch isn't better than the previous batch and whatever reason you can think of. Why? Because they are the Michaelian Military Band, no matter what, they should had gotten our support if anything. Not blames and hate. That will just further discourage anyone and everyone.
Declaration of War
I take that as a declaration of war, bitch. I had been becoming more and more hostile towards people. But so be it. Unity and friendship my ass. 'Bro' my ass, I'm not part of such a "family."
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Reminisce sometimes;
Once in a while I recall the beginning of my 'net life.'
my first yahoo account, it was xxx_himura_kenshin_xxx or something like that, before that one was an email address I created at a computer center, so it didn't count. I have a bit of vivid memories of it. Back when I was still fresh on the net, naive and a bit of innocence still existed in me.
I went to a role playing chatroom on yahoo. It was called "..... Tavern" I do not remember the name anymore, it's a shame, a big big shame. I miss those people who were part of the small little role playing community that we became. The frequent visitors of the tavern. I believe the number of visitors to said tavern was around 5?
I roleplayed Himura Kenshin, a samurai from Japan, those who watch the show Samurai X aka Rurouni Kenshin will know who he is.
Then there was a Queen Chibi or Chibi Vampire, I forgot her exact username, but she roleplayed a queen of vampire or of that sorts.
Another vivid visitor was someone by the name of "Nova" or was it "Noah?" Probably Noah, I do not remember much anymore. He was the one who I talked to the most often in the chatroom and outside the chat room I believe, I am not sure what character it was that he played, but he seem like the typical macho-ish DMC loving type of people. I remember this one line he said though;
Me: You stop role-playing Loz?
Noah: people laughed at me for playing Loz.
heh, kinda funny it was.
then I remember the first time I did a role-play fight with him. He actually got impressed by me and told some of his friends to check out how I role-play. I didn't know what to do then, got nervous. Haha, good times. I love role-playing I guess. I sure miss those guys.
A while after that, the chatroom function was discontinued by Yahoo!, god fucking know why. That marked the end of the Tavern. Sooner or later it would end anyways, though I kinda would had liked it more if it ended later.
Lost contact with everyone from that time, a girl who role-played Rikku, and a girl who role-played Misao, I think they might had been the same people? I can't recall much anymore.
I kinda miss those times. Sure beats some of the current people I'm facing.
And then, there's Galadoria Online, a few good friends I'd met there. Oh it ended too.
Siruke, Malificous, Norgaroth and many others. I was the community noob there, but so be it. Kinda wish I can revisit those moments, even if it meant that I become a lifeless zombie again. Just for a day or two won't hurt so bad.
Those were also the moments that I was being particularly "emo" as a person. But oh well. So much has happened, the past has gone, the future's coming and the present is well, the present, time to go sleep.
my first yahoo account, it was xxx_himura_kenshin_xxx or something like that, before that one was an email address I created at a computer center, so it didn't count. I have a bit of vivid memories of it. Back when I was still fresh on the net, naive and a bit of innocence still existed in me.
I went to a role playing chatroom on yahoo. It was called "..... Tavern" I do not remember the name anymore, it's a shame, a big big shame. I miss those people who were part of the small little role playing community that we became. The frequent visitors of the tavern. I believe the number of visitors to said tavern was around 5?
I roleplayed Himura Kenshin, a samurai from Japan, those who watch the show Samurai X aka Rurouni Kenshin will know who he is.
Then there was a Queen Chibi or Chibi Vampire, I forgot her exact username, but she roleplayed a queen of vampire or of that sorts.
Another vivid visitor was someone by the name of "Nova" or was it "Noah?" Probably Noah, I do not remember much anymore. He was the one who I talked to the most often in the chatroom and outside the chat room I believe, I am not sure what character it was that he played, but he seem like the typical macho-ish DMC loving type of people. I remember this one line he said though;
Me: You stop role-playing Loz?
Noah: people laughed at me for playing Loz.
heh, kinda funny it was.
then I remember the first time I did a role-play fight with him. He actually got impressed by me and told some of his friends to check out how I role-play. I didn't know what to do then, got nervous. Haha, good times. I love role-playing I guess. I sure miss those guys.
A while after that, the chatroom function was discontinued by Yahoo!, god fucking know why. That marked the end of the Tavern. Sooner or later it would end anyways, though I kinda would had liked it more if it ended later.
Lost contact with everyone from that time, a girl who role-played Rikku, and a girl who role-played Misao, I think they might had been the same people? I can't recall much anymore.
I kinda miss those times. Sure beats some of the current people I'm facing.
And then, there's Galadoria Online, a few good friends I'd met there. Oh it ended too.
Siruke, Malificous, Norgaroth and many others. I was the community noob there, but so be it. Kinda wish I can revisit those moments, even if it meant that I become a lifeless zombie again. Just for a day or two won't hurt so bad.
Those were also the moments that I was being particularly "emo" as a person. But oh well. So much has happened, the past has gone, the future's coming and the present is well, the present, time to go sleep.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Updates
School's as usual. Life's as usual. Nothing really has changed since MUET was over since Saturday. It's already 10.30pm here. Oh hell, time moves too fast sometimes, and move too slow sometimes. Wouldn't it be good if we could pause, rewind, and fastforward time with just a click of a button on a remote control like in "The Click?"
Updated my private blog too.
Updated my private blog too.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
So Ends Yet Another Chapter
How many examinations has us taken so far? I'd lost count, I do not think anyone can remember. Today was the Malaysia University English Test. MUET for short. Candidates are ranked from Band 1 to Band 6, Band 6 being the highest and 1 the lowest. Every year the country only produces around 5 Band 6 candidates. I really really wanted to get a Band 6. But alas, the dream's fading super quickly. I do not see a Band 6 at the last page of this chapter. Hope for the best and expect the worst. Oh the wait for the result shall kill me mercilessly. The topic were fairly easy, but I have my doubts.
Someone sing me a lullaby tonight.
Went for a scroll at Ipoh Parade with some of my classmates after the test. I still can't throw off this uneasiness though, I don't think I'll be happy when I see my MUET results. I doubt it, I honestly doubt it.
Gonna clean up my figurines and room I guess. I wonder can I finish all my maths in time? There's just so freaking many. Past year STPM questions, examination level questions from a recently finished chapter among many many things. Time's of the essence. What happened to that time table of mine? Better set it straight. Gonna take Lai Lin's advice on deciding on the amount of hours and what subject to study everyday instead of a fully fixed time table. That way I will have the flexibility to move around and not miss anything.
Someone sing me a lullaby tonight.
Went for a scroll at Ipoh Parade with some of my classmates after the test. I still can't throw off this uneasiness though, I don't think I'll be happy when I see my MUET results. I doubt it, I honestly doubt it.
Gonna clean up my figurines and room I guess. I wonder can I finish all my maths in time? There's just so freaking many. Past year STPM questions, examination level questions from a recently finished chapter among many many things. Time's of the essence. What happened to that time table of mine? Better set it straight. Gonna take Lai Lin's advice on deciding on the amount of hours and what subject to study everyday instead of a fully fixed time table. That way I will have the flexibility to move around and not miss anything.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Faiz: Paradise Lost
I watched the movie again after a long long time of no-faiz land. I never really loved Faiz, it was the second series that I watched when I finally decided to get back into Kamen Rider and drop the whole "Dude, Power Ranger's for kids, I'm freaking 10 years old, not a kid anymore" attitude.
SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE BELOW
Anyways, onto the movie! The first time I'd watched it, I hated it. It was the first movie that introduced me to alternate universe for Rider movies. Not only that, but I got way confused by Takumi and his Takeshi character. I probably didn't pay much attention back then I guess. After rewatching I get the ideas going around the show. I liked the movie in general, but then there are parts that get me mad.
I didn't really fancy the whole Savior thing that they were going for Faiz the first time I watched the movie, I never pictured Takumi as caring and stuff, but that was 2-3 years ago. Now I love the idea. "Cutting through the darkness and bring back the light." I like it, it's like it came out from a epic adventure story, which I may add that I love.
Faiz as a story has so much potential, but the communication problem between the characters are still there. Kusaka's still another bitch, Takumi never grows as a character, and if only the wolf orphenoch that hangs with Kiba had gotten more development, along with Keitaro, then maybe the audience would had felt more for them. Then there's the ending, Takumi and Mari just walking away from the stadium, really? Not even touching on the rebellion force and absolutely no hinting on how things will go? I don't think the writer made it clear how the audience in the stadium felt. They sure seem threaten though. But what Takumi said at the end just seem like he's going to ignore the whole war between Orpechnochs and humans again, it's in character, but...didn't he just said that he'll inherit Kiba's ideals? Give the guy some development would ya?
Takumi in the movie really grew on me as a character. I used to dislike him, emotionless, apathetic and antagonistic. But he's grounded enough for me to imagine him as a real person. His personality kinda contrasts Kiba's personality and the way he and Kiba ended up in both the series and movie just made it much sadder. Kiba's changing sides in the movie is much more tolerable for me. The change to the Orphenoch side was fine, but he just randomly decided to help Mari after getting beaten up by Faiz, before they said anything. Whaaaat? Really?
I guess my biggest beefs with the movie was Kiba's sudden change of heart, the conclusion of the movie and the lack of focus on other characters. Takumi and Mari got a lot of focus, I kinda like Mina, she seems like my type of girl, short hair and stuff, wish they at least dug a grave for her or something. She wasn't mentioned again after getting shot dead. Some characters could had gotten more development like the wolf guy companion of Kiba who's name escapes me, and Keitaro. They had a few perfect chances too. I find it lacking somehow, the characters never really grew in both the series and the movie. Would had be amazing to see Takumi grow to become more honest, open up his heart and show his emotions, believe in people and take up the name of the savior "Kamen Rider Faiz." Maybe the writer wanted to go for an open ending but I still do not really like the way it was done. What happened to Keitaro anyways after Takumi and Mari came out of the stadium? Is he going to unite with them again or the two of them will hide from the world?
I don't really understand why I was bored with the movie the first time I watched it, It's pretty interesting and entertaining to me this time round. The show and the movie has so much potential though, if the show decided to take the movie's road, I wonder how it would had went, it might had been epic.
I'm now interested in writing a Faiz redux comic sort of thing, maybe a tiny blend of Zone Of the Enders, consider me inspired XD
SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE BELOW
Anyways, onto the movie! The first time I'd watched it, I hated it. It was the first movie that introduced me to alternate universe for Rider movies. Not only that, but I got way confused by Takumi and his Takeshi character. I probably didn't pay much attention back then I guess. After rewatching I get the ideas going around the show. I liked the movie in general, but then there are parts that get me mad.
I didn't really fancy the whole Savior thing that they were going for Faiz the first time I watched the movie, I never pictured Takumi as caring and stuff, but that was 2-3 years ago. Now I love the idea. "Cutting through the darkness and bring back the light." I like it, it's like it came out from a epic adventure story, which I may add that I love.
Faiz as a story has so much potential, but the communication problem between the characters are still there. Kusaka's still another bitch, Takumi never grows as a character, and if only the wolf orphenoch that hangs with Kiba had gotten more development, along with Keitaro, then maybe the audience would had felt more for them. Then there's the ending, Takumi and Mari just walking away from the stadium, really? Not even touching on the rebellion force and absolutely no hinting on how things will go? I don't think the writer made it clear how the audience in the stadium felt. They sure seem threaten though. But what Takumi said at the end just seem like he's going to ignore the whole war between Orpechnochs and humans again, it's in character, but...didn't he just said that he'll inherit Kiba's ideals? Give the guy some development would ya?
Takumi in the movie really grew on me as a character. I used to dislike him, emotionless, apathetic and antagonistic. But he's grounded enough for me to imagine him as a real person. His personality kinda contrasts Kiba's personality and the way he and Kiba ended up in both the series and movie just made it much sadder. Kiba's changing sides in the movie is much more tolerable for me. The change to the Orphenoch side was fine, but he just randomly decided to help Mari after getting beaten up by Faiz, before they said anything. Whaaaat? Really?
I guess my biggest beefs with the movie was Kiba's sudden change of heart, the conclusion of the movie and the lack of focus on other characters. Takumi and Mari got a lot of focus, I kinda like Mina, she seems like my type of girl, short hair and stuff, wish they at least dug a grave for her or something. She wasn't mentioned again after getting shot dead. Some characters could had gotten more development like the wolf guy companion of Kiba who's name escapes me, and Keitaro. They had a few perfect chances too. I find it lacking somehow, the characters never really grew in both the series and the movie. Would had be amazing to see Takumi grow to become more honest, open up his heart and show his emotions, believe in people and take up the name of the savior "Kamen Rider Faiz." Maybe the writer wanted to go for an open ending but I still do not really like the way it was done. What happened to Keitaro anyways after Takumi and Mari came out of the stadium? Is he going to unite with them again or the two of them will hide from the world?
I don't really understand why I was bored with the movie the first time I watched it, It's pretty interesting and entertaining to me this time round. The show and the movie has so much potential though, if the show decided to take the movie's road, I wonder how it would had went, it might had been epic.
I'm now interested in writing a Faiz redux comic sort of thing, maybe a tiny blend of Zone Of the Enders, consider me inspired XD
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Where He Stands Now
I'd blogged about things, many things. I'd took actions, some, little bits, small little steps. Things has happened here and there. I'd said a few things, I'd listened to a few things.
Where you go through life
So sure of where you’re headin'
And you wind up lost and it's
The best thing that could have happened
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah that’s when you find yourself
It used to be all about "I don't want to show my softer side, thus I act like a total douche." I end up sinking into it, I did became a jerk with a harden heart. I felt "uncomfortable" showing my softer side in real life, I never had heart to heart sections face to face with people or through the phone before. It was all done on the internet, and sometimes I even hide it when I'm on the internet. I repress myself all the time, I try to act like I don't care when I care enough to cry, I try to pretend that I'm doing it for my own benefits when I was genuinely trying to help.
A reaction formation is what a friend of mine said this was. I google'd.
"Reaction Formation occurs when a person feels an urge to do or say something and then actually does or says something that is effectively the opposite of what they really want"
Is that what I am? Find Yourself he says. Was it truly all about being uncomfortable? Maybe I feared it? Maybe I'm just afraid, afraid of how others would react to me? I don't know the reason anymore to that. But I do know that I probably had damaged relationships through this way. Relationships with an 's' at the end. Is it that 'good' to try and block everything and act like I'm cool? I weep like hell watching Toy Story 3 and then I say to people "I never cry. :D" Perhaps it's my obsession over the need to feel superior, that I don't want my image of myself being someone at the top to be challenged by what people think of me, that I have softer side? Was it because I'm scared of being taken advantage of by showing my softer side?
Oh well. I don't know anymore, I just don't. I can't find the answer in my mind. But at least now I believe I shouldn't do this anymore unnecessarily like what I had done so many times before, if I list them down, this blog entry is probably going to be so long that it'll take a year just to scroll through it. In a way, I guess this is sorta two faced even if I had no intentions of being pretentious. I shouldn't feel ashamed to show my softer side. Nobody should. Since I do this, I guess not many people truly know what type of person I am. I'm not going to try, I'm going to do my best to change. Where's that fire of my superiority complex and perfectionism when I need it?
Where you go through life
So sure of where you’re headin'
And you wind up lost and it's
The best thing that could have happened
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well
Because you find yourself
Yeah that’s when you find yourself
It used to be all about "I don't want to show my softer side, thus I act like a total douche." I end up sinking into it, I did became a jerk with a harden heart. I felt "uncomfortable" showing my softer side in real life, I never had heart to heart sections face to face with people or through the phone before. It was all done on the internet, and sometimes I even hide it when I'm on the internet. I repress myself all the time, I try to act like I don't care when I care enough to cry, I try to pretend that I'm doing it for my own benefits when I was genuinely trying to help.
A reaction formation is what a friend of mine said this was. I google'd.
"Reaction Formation occurs when a person feels an urge to do or say something and then actually does or says something that is effectively the opposite of what they really want"
Is that what I am? Find Yourself he says. Was it truly all about being uncomfortable? Maybe I feared it? Maybe I'm just afraid, afraid of how others would react to me? I don't know the reason anymore to that. But I do know that I probably had damaged relationships through this way. Relationships with an 's' at the end. Is it that 'good' to try and block everything and act like I'm cool? I weep like hell watching Toy Story 3 and then I say to people "I never cry. :D" Perhaps it's my obsession over the need to feel superior, that I don't want my image of myself being someone at the top to be challenged by what people think of me, that I have softer side? Was it because I'm scared of being taken advantage of by showing my softer side?
Oh well. I don't know anymore, I just don't. I can't find the answer in my mind. But at least now I believe I shouldn't do this anymore unnecessarily like what I had done so many times before, if I list them down, this blog entry is probably going to be so long that it'll take a year just to scroll through it. In a way, I guess this is sorta two faced even if I had no intentions of being pretentious. I shouldn't feel ashamed to show my softer side. Nobody should. Since I do this, I guess not many people truly know what type of person I am. I'm not going to try, I'm going to do my best to change. Where's that fire of my superiority complex and perfectionism when I need it?
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Easy, Hard, Easy, Hard
Some have it easy. Some have it hard. Some are born with a golden key in life, fancy sport cars at the age of 18, premier college and univerisity, having a maid and lots of cash.Others, not so lucky. Though sometimes, those with an iPhone, an expensive laptop and a good car as his or her first car, couldn't even donate RM 10 to the homeless and those in need. Why has the world turn so materialistic and inhumane? When and how? Was it like this too in the old old days where cars didn't exist? Can't there be a bit more trust and love going around? Hatred and selfishness are the last thing we'll ever need.
There's people on Facebook that just need to write a two word sentence as a status and they get 20 comments instantly from different people and 10 likes. Some could write a pretty sensible status that's related to them and get zero attention. Some people get sidelined, some get all the lime light. Some outcasted and never given chances, some no matter how much of a douche they are, they still get that little bit of attention from everyone. Some receives support, some probably don't. Some have 200 over friends on Facebook and more than 200 followers on Twitter, but when he or she needs the moral support, none turns up. Some just post a sad emoticon and people rush to the rescue. Fake or real, I have no idea.
Never do upon others what you do not want to be done upon you yourselves. Try not to outcast people or to sideline them. It's an hurtful thing to bear for those who know how it feels. Some have it easy, they don't know how loneliness feel like. Some have it hard, they know fully well how painful it could be. Some have it hard, they know how it feels to sense that they don't belong where they are while others are having easy, never even needing to doubt the place that that stand on. The person you know who smiles the most isn't necessarily the happiest person you know. Everyone goes through their own problems.
Try and try to break barriers and climb, you find gems along the way, very true. Though some have it pretty easy. They just need to sit down and people are going to bring them up instead. I guess it's true that they say there's no free lunch in this world, and in this world, nothing will ever truly be fair play.
Well, numbers in the end, doesn't really matter. You could have thousands, but if none ever come back to you, what would be the point? Cherish the few number that will come back. Those are the ones that truly matters. It's the little things that matters.
For all those who knows of the pain that are spoken of, all there is to say is to not lose to the world.
There's people on Facebook that just need to write a two word sentence as a status and they get 20 comments instantly from different people and 10 likes. Some could write a pretty sensible status that's related to them and get zero attention. Some people get sidelined, some get all the lime light. Some outcasted and never given chances, some no matter how much of a douche they are, they still get that little bit of attention from everyone. Some receives support, some probably don't. Some have 200 over friends on Facebook and more than 200 followers on Twitter, but when he or she needs the moral support, none turns up. Some just post a sad emoticon and people rush to the rescue. Fake or real, I have no idea.
Never do upon others what you do not want to be done upon you yourselves. Try not to outcast people or to sideline them. It's an hurtful thing to bear for those who know how it feels. Some have it easy, they don't know how loneliness feel like. Some have it hard, they know fully well how painful it could be. Some have it hard, they know how it feels to sense that they don't belong where they are while others are having easy, never even needing to doubt the place that that stand on. The person you know who smiles the most isn't necessarily the happiest person you know. Everyone goes through their own problems.
Try and try to break barriers and climb, you find gems along the way, very true. Though some have it pretty easy. They just need to sit down and people are going to bring them up instead. I guess it's true that they say there's no free lunch in this world, and in this world, nothing will ever truly be fair play.
Well, numbers in the end, doesn't really matter. You could have thousands, but if none ever come back to you, what would be the point? Cherish the few number that will come back. Those are the ones that truly matters. It's the little things that matters.
For all those who knows of the pain that are spoken of, all there is to say is to not lose to the world.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Past, Present and Future
Can we judge by the past? Just because one has did sinful things, will it automatically make him an outcast for the rest of his life?
No, we probably can't.
Who's to say a person will not change? I'm a living prove that people do change sometimes. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone learns.
Suddenly it doesn't seem fair anymore to judge someone based on past experiences and what wrong had they done.
I'd never understood characters who did not want to kill the person they sought revenge against. I'd never understood it when the protagonist doesn't want to kill the antagonist in the show even when it's clear that the antagonist was wrong and he deserved death. Also, I'd definitely never understood why would someone spare a killer, or even forgive sometimes.
Why? Why don't we just kill them off? Why do we give some people second chances to live again?
Well, for all those questions asked above, I think I somehow answered them myself yesterday night.
Time changes everyone after all. Everyone learns, everyone make mistakes. If someone doesn't make any sort of mistakes, then it probably mean that that person is not someone who would try new things. We all learn this way. A second chance for those who would truly change would mean a lot for them. If you would never forgive people, how are you going to expect that people will forgive you for your wrong doings as well? New people we meet shouldn't be judged upon the past, neither should our old friends too, all because of the reason I stated above.
It's better to let go of the past, to move on and live on. Looking back once in a while to see how much you have grown throughout the course of your life. It's better that we don't judge a person based on what others have to say and what they did in the past.
No, we probably can't.
Who's to say a person will not change? I'm a living prove that people do change sometimes. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone learns.
Suddenly it doesn't seem fair anymore to judge someone based on past experiences and what wrong had they done.
I'd never understood characters who did not want to kill the person they sought revenge against. I'd never understood it when the protagonist doesn't want to kill the antagonist in the show even when it's clear that the antagonist was wrong and he deserved death. Also, I'd definitely never understood why would someone spare a killer, or even forgive sometimes.
Why? Why don't we just kill them off? Why do we give some people second chances to live again?
Well, for all those questions asked above, I think I somehow answered them myself yesterday night.
Time changes everyone after all. Everyone learns, everyone make mistakes. If someone doesn't make any sort of mistakes, then it probably mean that that person is not someone who would try new things. We all learn this way. A second chance for those who would truly change would mean a lot for them. If you would never forgive people, how are you going to expect that people will forgive you for your wrong doings as well? New people we meet shouldn't be judged upon the past, neither should our old friends too, all because of the reason I stated above.
It's better to let go of the past, to move on and live on. Looking back once in a while to see how much you have grown throughout the course of your life. It's better that we don't judge a person based on what others have to say and what they did in the past.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Stronger, Faster, Better
Some of us may have experienced situations where we heard things about ourselves, but we paid no heed to it. Thinking that it is either irrelevant, that it's not important to our life, it doesn't apply to our life or just not true about us at all. Then we find out at a later stage in life that what was said was actually pretty true. Believe it or not, it happens to me every once in a while. Oh how often is that? It's just bad bad bad. But then again, not many people actually knows their flaws in themselves anyways. They may think they are the greatest singer, but then they are in reality just average singers. Some may think that they are great at writing, only to be defeated when they are joined with other people they have never met before.
Men hardly ever listen to their own advices. It's one of the reasons why friends are important, they are our moral compass. Whether they fulfill the role well or be the immoral compass is another case.We need people to tell us when we start taking wrong turns. A good friend will only intervene on what you're doing when you're doing walking down the wrong path. Life's complicating, and no one quote is always true in all situation. There are always exceptions. So just keep living and regret not your mistakes for that has passed and you had learned from it.
"Learn from fools and from sages."
Men hardly ever listen to their own advices. It's one of the reasons why friends are important, they are our moral compass. Whether they fulfill the role well or be the immoral compass is another case.We need people to tell us when we start taking wrong turns. A good friend will only intervene on what you're doing when you're doing walking down the wrong path. Life's complicating, and no one quote is always true in all situation. There are always exceptions. So just keep living and regret not your mistakes for that has passed and you had learned from it.
"Learn from fools and from sages."
Saturday, March 26, 2011
REVIEW: Toy Story 3
Pixar has made quite a few good movies recently, UP, Cars, Wall-E and then they went back to Toy Story. If I have to pick anything, I believe I will pick Toy Story as my favorite film from Pixar, not just because it's my first movie, not really nostalgic, but honestly. It was creative, toys coming alive when you are not looking. Toys talking, socializing, having fun and running around in your room when you're not around. It's a child's dream come true!!
In 2010 we finally got Toy Story 3. The animation is definitely better than the first two movies. No doubt about that. The music is fitting and the pacing of the movie was just about right. Not too fast that you can't breathe, but not too slow that you'll wish it'll get to the climax already.
There are quite a few moments in the movie that makes you feel sad deep down inside though, and the ending is definitely tear-jerkish. I believe Toy Story 3 is a very fitting ending to the tale.
And a bit of spoiler on this one;
Only read this part if you do not mind the spoiler
Woody wrote something on a sticky note on the box at the ending, how I wish they would show us what he wrote. Knowing Woody and his reaction to Andy and his mom, I guess he wrote something like
"We'll always be there for you. -Woody."
Man I just LOVE Toy Story!!!
In 2010 we finally got Toy Story 3. The animation is definitely better than the first two movies. No doubt about that. The music is fitting and the pacing of the movie was just about right. Not too fast that you can't breathe, but not too slow that you'll wish it'll get to the climax already.
There are quite a few moments in the movie that makes you feel sad deep down inside though, and the ending is definitely tear-jerkish. I believe Toy Story 3 is a very fitting ending to the tale.
And a bit of spoiler on this one;
Only read this part if you do not mind the spoiler
Woody wrote something on a sticky note on the box at the ending, how I wish they would show us what he wrote. Knowing Woody and his reaction to Andy and his mom, I guess he wrote something like
"We'll always be there for you. -Woody."
Man I just LOVE Toy Story!!!
Stars in the Morning Sky
I had been looking at the stars in the morning sky lately. I looked at the stars on the bus, at the school shining brightly high up in the sky. Though some of the brightest stars in the sky are all alone, and all the moderately bright stars are all together near the moon. I can't help but to feel kinda sad about that. The stars seems quite lonely.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Melaka
Went to Melaka for the holidays from Wednesday until Friday night. It was fun! The place was pretty hot though, very very hot. Piece of advice to anyone else who's planning to go to Melaka and haven't have any experience yet, just pack t-shirts and short pants. It was almost a torture to wear jeans around the whole place, better to wear scandals too. Quite a few things about history there, the big ship and the forts and ruins just to name a few. I didn't erally get to see everything though. Didn't really have the time, didn't even have the time to take pictures. Should had stayed one more day, but then I didn't finish my homework in time. So oh well. It was fun though, very fun, exhausting but pretty damn fun to walk around jonker street. The ole-ole there are awesome and De Costa's Portuguese Food restoran's otak-otak are delicious! I haven't had a vacation in a pretty long time!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Motivation Talk
Today I attended a motivational talk by Mr.Martin Jalleh. First off, let me start of this blog entry by saying that Martin has a great sense of humor, I like him the moment he started to talk. Pretty glad that I'm in the monitorial board until this day or else I would had missed this motivational talk. This is by far, the most effective Motivational Talk Program I'd been to. The rest that had been organized by the school that I'd attended so far are lacking in my honest opinion, sadly. What Martin has said today actually made an impact on me, unlike other "Motivational Talk Programs" I'd been to. I really like how he handled the talk. I wasn't expecting someone as nice and fun like him and was thinking of someone more along the line of Mr.K for us Michaelians who knows who that person is. I hope that no matter whatever happens, me and others can have another section with him again, how sad that this is the last year huh? But oh well, time waits for no man.
I think I learned a thing or two here. Perhaps I can now try to make a few steps forward again. I'm learning, slowly, but definitely. My friend said a while ago that "it doesn't matter no matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop." Hahaha, I guess that's true. Form six life has definitely change quite a few people that I know, including myself. But I guess that everybody learns and changes sometimes. That's just how life goes. There's one note by another friend of mine that made me think for a bit. I think I'm treating someone I know a bit unfair, I realized midway reading that Note on Facebook that, what I'm doing to him is exactly what someone else is doing to me, albeit that I didn't outright do it to him. Didn't I promise myself a few things? Am I forgetting those things? Perhaps I had been. Oh thank you my dear friends for reminding me of what's truly important. Beside the fact that "we shouldn't do upon others what we do not want done upon us" I think we all should give a helping hand to everyone that's in need. We may not be able to change the world, but never say never because we can still make small changes. Especially to a friend's or even a foe's life, and hopefully for the better.
However, I expect something to go down soon, a person I dislike a lot is going to be producing something and I have a feeling I'll be forced by the team's president to buy that product. I wonder would I lose anything from refusing to buy. I'm learning to let go of my pride, when it's best to let go, but there are times like these that I just can't, no it's not just the matter of my pride, unfortunately I see this as me not preforming well enough and losing to such a person. But oh well, I guess I will just have to see what happens next.
Regardlessly, time to take steps forward. Maybe I should have a chat with my friend about that last paragraph. Hm. Oh well.
I think I learned a thing or two here. Perhaps I can now try to make a few steps forward again. I'm learning, slowly, but definitely. My friend said a while ago that "it doesn't matter no matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop." Hahaha, I guess that's true. Form six life has definitely change quite a few people that I know, including myself. But I guess that everybody learns and changes sometimes. That's just how life goes. There's one note by another friend of mine that made me think for a bit. I think I'm treating someone I know a bit unfair, I realized midway reading that Note on Facebook that, what I'm doing to him is exactly what someone else is doing to me, albeit that I didn't outright do it to him. Didn't I promise myself a few things? Am I forgetting those things? Perhaps I had been. Oh thank you my dear friends for reminding me of what's truly important. Beside the fact that "we shouldn't do upon others what we do not want done upon us" I think we all should give a helping hand to everyone that's in need. We may not be able to change the world, but never say never because we can still make small changes. Especially to a friend's or even a foe's life, and hopefully for the better.
However, I expect something to go down soon, a person I dislike a lot is going to be producing something and I have a feeling I'll be forced by the team's president to buy that product. I wonder would I lose anything from refusing to buy. I'm learning to let go of my pride, when it's best to let go, but there are times like these that I just can't, no it's not just the matter of my pride, unfortunately I see this as me not preforming well enough and losing to such a person. But oh well, I guess I will just have to see what happens next.
Regardlessly, time to take steps forward. Maybe I should have a chat with my friend about that last paragraph. Hm. Oh well.
"As long as there's someone who understands me. I'll be fine."
Saturday, March 5, 2011
SIC Volume 56: Kamen Rider Kuuga
SIC Volume 56: Kamen Rider Kuuga, this new version of a SIC-fied Kuuga has a more humanoid look compared to the previous one. It comes with a few accessories and has only one alternative form which is Amazing Mighty to change into, as compared to being able to change into every form for the previous Kuuga. The accessories are;
a pair of opened hands
one hand for the henshin(transform) pose, and one thumbs up hand. For what would make him Kuuga if he doesn't have a thumbs up now that he has a new pimping body?
Now that we are done with the talk on accessories, let's talk about Kuuga's companion, Gouram the horse armor.
At first when we got news of that this volume is going to come with yet another F.F.R.(Final Form Ride) gimmick, I set my mind to skip this one, no matter how painful it was to not get my hands on a Kuuga SIC. Later, we found out that Gouram can be displayed even without the help of Kuuga, unlike the Kabuto Zector, and this time the figure is not required to split in half or be folded. Regardless of whether that caused problems for SIC Kamen Rider Kabuto is another story. I was surprised by the details on Gouram, especially on the back of the wings, and all the little details on Gouram. The writings especially.
However, my Gouram's front legs are very loose and can fall off any time, not to mention that the joints weren't produced very well, took me a while to actually put the piece of plastic that attaches the two front legs. The back of it is all hollow so that Kuuga can sit inside it. the back of the horns on Gouram were painted badly on mine. the paint basically ran to everywhere. Sorry that I don't have photos, but I mainly played with just Kuuga, since Gouram's front legs were too loose for me to also play with him.
The red paint on Kuuga doesn't look very impressive in real life. But he's hella photogenic. Cameras are said to put on pounds for people, but the camera sure pimp up Kuuga's colors.
Due to the shoulder pads, his arms can't more than 90 degrees. But that's only bothersome if you're nit-picky about everything. This figure can pull off lots of great poses. I seem to have problems with pulling off the kicking pose that is on the back of the box however. I couldn't make the leg go up that high, I'm not sure have anyone else tried this out though. So don't quote me on that. I also have some complains about his arms being a bit on the loose side though.
Also, the hands are using pegs like the one above, probably for articulation reasons, but the problem with that is the peg might not be strong enough for lots of swapping. So it's best not to play around with the hands. I take deep breathes everything I change the hands when I was taking pictures.
Next up! Amazing Mighty Kuuga!! At first I didn't think I'll like Amazing Mighty much, but looking at it in person, it gives off a very royal vibe from it. The chogokin shin guards, almost the whole lower parts of the legs are made of chogokin. Mighty has a mighty sweetass red paint job, and Amazing Mighty deliver this amazingly classy feel.
The details on Kuuga himself is pretty nice too. Many of us had complained about the face sculpt before, but it looks pretty good actually.
Overall, I give this volume a 9/10. Good articulation, amazing details, fair price, very nice packaging, I strongly recommend this volume! More pictures can be found at this link below;
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