Jigoku.

It's hard to hate. You end up being consumed by it, dwell into it, you become vengeful, and it brings you down. 

There's a show I once watched about a Hell Girl that has a hotline to hell. On the internet there is a website that can only be accessed at th stroke of midnight and provided you have enough hatred within your heart. If you type in the name of the person you hate on the website, the Hell Girl will meet you and deliver you a straw figurine with a red string tied on it's neck. When the person untie that red string, the Hell Girl will proceed to sending the person to hell. Of course, nothing is ever free in this world. By cursing that person and delivering him or her to hell, two graves shall be dug. Once the contract is fulfilled you will be embedded a tattoo near your chest, and you too shall go to hell when you die. 

I'd been increasingly hostile towards some people. And perhaps what one of my friend said was true, perhaps I was thinking a bit too much and a bit too sensitive about it. Perhaps I came with the intention and ideals that this will be a new beginning and new friendships. I'm not perfect, how much I wish so that I could be perfect. Perhaps I should had been a bit more supportive of one of my friend today. Couldn't hurt and for that I'm sorry. But oh well, stupid me. I'm a fool. I definitely should be more supportive of people. Or maybe I'm just not completely used to turning over a new leaf. 

In the end, what is the point of all the hatred? What's left after revenge? What can one possibly gain from "sweet sweet revenge" beside that 5 second of happiness that depresses at an astonishing speed and soon becomes a feeling of emptiness? What is left then? And what if in the course of vengeance you end up destroying everything in your path, including your relationship with your loved ones? How sad it is that we know what lies ahead with this path yet we still chose to take it. Could it be human nature to succumb to such feelings? 

These two weeks of holiday can serve well for me to rejuvenate, relax and most importantly to study.  Yesterday has passed, today's ending, and tomorrow's a brand new day. Time to move forward one more step. Life's only bad if you let it be. Who am I to say all of that anyways? It's not like I'm not one who's consumed by that hatred. Let's just finish this page and start a new chapter now. I should make amends for things. Many things. 

Trying my best, but I trip and fall still once in a while. It's inevitable, who doesn't trip and fall? There sure seems to be many others who are much more fortunate, or perhaps they just made all the right choices in life. I should not let hatred get to my head and blind my eyes. Even if it's ever so tempting. Bloodshed only begets more bloodshed, there will never be a happy ending.