Kyle's Life Story Thus Far!

I haven't been updating much. But oh well, nothing much to write about beside hanging out with my buddies, and occasionally chatting with em on the internet. The holiday's end is fast approaching and I have yet to even touch a book. God I'm screwed. Really screwed. Better start working on my homework either today or tomorrow. Note to self; if tomorrow, better not stop working on my homework after picking the pen up, until your hands drop dead.

I'm thinking of leaving my private blog to die, there's really not that much of a purpose to keep two, but then again. Oh well.

For those who follows my blog(if any o.o), you might remember that I stated that I found Bram Stoker's Dracula at Novel Hut last month or something. Well, I'd read through half the book and I gotta say I like it quite a lot. I'd also been reading about vampire sightings in real life, the Highgates Vampire Sightings and supernatural events that occurred there seems pretty scary and interesting. Go give it a read if you're hunting for some horror story or vampire sightings.

I saw a commercial yesterday and here's how I responded to it;

Commercial: Winners don't do drugs!!
Me: But Elvis did do drugs.

Well, I wasn't taking it seriously and it wasn't one of the emotionally touching commercials, so I didn't resist cracking jokes at it. Heck I don't remember what the commercial was about.

I'm trying to make my comic feel less like a 'manga-influenced' comic and more into a plain old comic. But, since I'd been using only black and white and once school starts again I won't have time to even think of going full colors. I went with a little blend of color and black and white and oh, threw some screentones into it too. Getting some positive responds to it. Can't say I'm not happy :D But, I'm still not so satisfied, I myself still feel that it's quite manga-like.

Gotta bring my little brother out to buy books, after my lunch. Not sure what to do since it has been 5 years since I was in Form 2. I remember that not every subject teacher will use all the books listed in the "list of books to buy" though. However, as stated, 5 years has passed since then so I'm not sure how the system is for my brother's. Bleh, gotta waste money again? =/ Already wasted enough during my time. This is exactly the reason why I hate buying books early. Much rather be late.

Heard some stories about some of my friends, quite surprised. Never knew they would do those things when I used to talk to them before. But oh well. People. What can you do?

Christmas is coming. Bleh, boring holiday. I hate Christmas, but I like snow, I wish to have a snowball war against my friends, I wanna try making an angel on the snow and I would love to try making a snowman. Oh well, call me The Scourge, I don't care. :)

There's a DCD version Kuuga being released with Gouram. I REALLY need that, as a big Kamen Rider Kuuga fan. Not to mention Gouram can function along and Kuuga's body frame isn't effected at all by the Gouram feature. I'm sold! Then there's SIC Kamen Rider W Cyclone Joker that comes with Cyclone Joker Extreme parts. My god, Bandai is killing me and my wallet. I also ordered a MG Gundam Quanta O, this little baby made me lose the chance to ride a train to and back from Kuala Lumpur with my classmates. If I don't build a marvelous piece of model out of this kit. I will never live it down. Oh, and I love it's box art design. One could say it's one of the reasons why I decided that I want this model kit a lot and pre-ordered it without much consideration, that and I saw a discount offer on the model kit. :D RM 165 baby! Man, if I ever get a girlfriend, please let her be rich lest she won't have much choices for casual presents that can make me happy, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Joking aside, my wallet's gonna be burned. Damn you Bandai, damn you.

A year end post? I'll do that on the 31st of December instead. Since I'll probably update later on again anyways. No point doing it now. Maybe I should actually write one on January instead. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm sure some of us dare say that we had changed quite a bit from last year. I still don't really believe that I'm wearing white pants as part of my school uniforms. Ah, life.

I don't wanna be a tiger, cause tigers play too rough~
I don't wanan be a lion, cause lions ain't the kind you love enouuugh~
Just wanna be, your teddy bear
Put a chain around my neck,
and lead me anywhere,
Oh let me be, your teddy bear~

I wonder how many of you guys know this song?

Aww man, I'm so in the mood to sing along to songs by Westlife and Elvis Presley. Throw in some titles like Better Man by Robbie Williams and Whataya Want From Me by Adam Lambert.

Perhaps a slice of Find Yourself by Brad Paisley and It's My Life by Bon Jovi.

Tiny bit of Marchin On by One Republic, a pinch of Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan and also When You're Evil and God Thinks by Voltaire.

A noticeable amount of Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C and The Way We Were by Barbra Sreisand.

Ah, Billionaire by Travis and Airplane by B.O.B and Hayley Williams in between all of that!

And there you have it, quite a good list of songs that can summarize this year for me. Since Form 5 ended, I gotta say Graduation by Vitamin C fits very well into the list. I'm not sure how many of us can sing the last few lines of the chorus honestly, I sure can't.

Ohhh man, did I just write a blog entry reflecting on this year?

Picking a Pen Over a Briefcase

Someone today in class asked me "Would this feed you?" while I was drawing, coincidentally, episode 8 of Garo, which I also watched today was talking about "my reason for picking up a pen."

Well, to be perfectly honest and frank, no. Not really. It probably won't be able to fit me. The things that i draw, my skills, my passion. It measures to nothing in this business world, where money matters more than anything else. More than love, more than passion, dreams, ambitions, friendship, relationships and humanity apparently. Futile to deny that.

It may suck, our future may never be certain, we need to worry if we can land jobs or not when we graduate from studies, worry if our skills can carry us far or not, and if it can, how far can it go? We want to be famous don't we? We want to earn money, be successful both as an artist of any kind, be it to be a video director, advertisement, a painter, an actor, or even a dancer, and earn money as well. Yeah, it may very well suck. To be people like us who prefer to chase dreams, risk life, exchange a stable office job for an uncertain line of work where you might not succeed. But we're born like that unfortunately.

You know what? All that's fine, even if I can't feed myself, or my family. I can't deny my dreams and wishes. I want to be famous, I want the fame and wealth. I want to let the world know me. Yeah, being a celebrity. I'll like that. Do I even remember my reason for picking up a pen though? No. I don't. At least not anymore.

Do I love it? Yes, I assume I do. Ever since a child, I loved drawings, admired complex drawings, though I'm not so expressive myself. Shit happens, that's life. I'd once decided to stop dreaming. God was I freaking miserable. Nah, I don't want to live a life I do not want, I'm an idealist, born this way, fuck it! What am I doing here in Form 6? Seni Visuals. Anderson, St.Michael, FUCK! Perhaps I should had went to The One Academy or something instead, but oh well. I'll picked form 6, out of my own volition. I'm having a bit of a "what if" and "if only" moment here, but still. Damn. It'll be pretty hard for me to catch up in art universities when I do get there. Worse yet I'll have to apply for colleges next year. One year wasted. I want to be famous, known to the world and successful as fast as possible. I wish I have a great singing voice and connections to famous people. =/

Hell, our dreams are bullshit to some people. They don't see the value in it, it's but a waste of time and effort to them, it can be put to better use to produce something like a new project for the company or homework, hell.

But it's as if I can pretend I didn't pick up a pen rather than a briefcase anyways. So there you have it. Regardless of whether I can feed myself or not, if my future's certain or not. I'm risking it, I'll gamble on this path and the first step to take is by the end of this year, decide on what courses I plan to be doing. Animations? illustrations and comics? Acting? Dancing?(nah) Singing?(nah.) graphic designs? multimedia design? I need some inspiration. True I need to give my ALL in form 6. BUT! I cannot afford to disconnect myself from the industry of arts anymore! I feel so disconnected now! I don't know the latest trends, I don't even remember how to be creative anymore.

It's time for me to remember why did I pick up a pencil in the first place.