I'd been playing League of Legends a lot lately, raging mostly because I'd been losing games on a streak since July. Trying to control myself and subdue the anger and frustration but I just keep playing the game anyways. I'd been considering uninstalling it to be honest. But meh, it keeps me entertained and satisfied when I win hard games. I'd always been a gamer at heart I suppose?
There's one thing I noticed though, the game brings out the worst in me, the darker side that I don't want people to get to know, not even for the people I love and hold dear in my life. I have a sharp mind, sense and a really sharp tongue when I play the game. I can figure out what the opponent team is doing(through sheer experience) and see their weak spot, as well as mine, ours and their strength as well. Other than that, I'm also critical and aggressive, if I know that can be done I will do it, and I will die trying. I don't give up easily, and if someone is blaming anyone else on the team, I fuck them over. Well, not literally, but I do fuck them over with words so hard that everyone are speechless.
Honestly speaking I'm not trying to brag, I just realized I'd been doing this consistently, it's part of my darker side that I'm not proud of, cause when I do become that side of me, I do hurt people, intentionally or not. Those harsh words definitely will hurt.
However, I was also efficient. Man, I wonder what can I do to tap into these strengths of mine without resorting to making myself a jerk.
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