So and So

I have not been updating much, STPM is drawing nearer and nearer by the second, time is of it's essence right now, and it's the examination of my life that will either make me, or break me.

Anyways, apparently things got ugly between me and yet another person. I won't say too much, but the gist of it is that she's not very well liked by some others, so I thought maybe I could talk to her, then she went all "tell me their name or share the same fate as them!!" trying to justify her need to know with "I want to know their name so I can analyse why they hate me."

I refused, I thought it'll be the same as backstabbing, tattle tailing. Not to mention I don't want things to get ugly, I sincerely wanted things to not turn ugly between her and others. However, she then proceeded to calling me a traitor and a friend of "them." That I'm a total faker this and that. So it all ended with me and her not being friends anymore, and now things seems to be escalating between her and some others. Obviously, I'm going to close my eyes and not care, since she will be too stubborn to even consider to listen to me anyways. Let bitches bitch someone told me. I can't agree more, even if it is sorta(?) cold of me.

Someone else got mad at me for not including this person to the movies, but honestly? I never felt like me and this person were anything more than casual gaming buddies. Sure we spend some time together, but really? We never really talked you know? Half the time I don't even know your personality, and neither do you really know me. I'm pretty sure everyone will agree that time spent together is the right way to measure a friendship, but it is only natural that friendships are forged through a period of time no matter how small. The problem is, I believe that we didn't really forged much of a friendship together. And perhaps I might be sensitive here, but what you said that time, directly hit me hard. I myself know that I'll never ever be fit to be a role model to anyone, but to hear someone else agree to it after I said it myself? Somehow that really stung. Maybe it's jerkish of me to not be able to remember you sometimes, which is typical(being a jerk I mean), but I never really felt like you cared about me either. So I'm calling it even.

And that's the so and so. Sometimes it makes me wonder if anyone ever reads my blogs, and does anyone really know my personality and not the mask I that I used to tried my best to keep on my face.

:)

For bad things that has passed, lighten up, don't let it get you down. Hell, joke about it even if you have a sense of humor. It'll feel better when you realized that you have finally put it all down and is able to move on from it, better yet if you know you have also grown as a person. After all, we all learn both from success and from things we had done wrong. Trick is to drop our egos and admit that we are wrong. This might be strange coming from someone like me perhaps. But it doesn't make this any less credible as a fact.

Male or female it's fine to show your sensitive side, it's what makes us humans. Don't try to lock away them, do yourself a favor, unlock the chains and let it flow free, especially those of us who are inspiring to be artists or singers, lest you want to lose your muse. Which I feel like I'd lost, I don't feel the 'creativity' in me anymore and it's hard for me to do anything creative at all. So lessons be learned.